feeling very frustrated lately. I might be back to vent later.

cool conversations

Yesterday I was able to ask some friends about lent and a few other traditionally catholic traditions. It was very interesting. I learned a little bit (some of which I have already forgotten). By the way, I'm thinking of giving up chocolate during lent. I'm not really sure if it is observation of lent. So, if you find me bichier and more moody for the next one and a half there might be somewhat of an excuse for my madness. hehe. (maybe)

sillyness, part 2

Things that make me me. (are you allowed to say me me? interesting)
1. I love to drive fast. (80 to 90, done safely, would be optimal)
2. I cry often. When other people hurt, when I hurt, at a sad movie, etc.
3. I used to hate the color pink. (i'm barely beginning to enjoy it now) The only logical reason I have is when I was younger my entire room was pink. I had light pink walls, mauve carpeting, and pink blinds. I got so sick of it I have hated it for at least 9 years.
4. My best friend's favorite color is pink. hehe. Purple has been my favorite for the past nine years. Now, I'm beginning to think that blue will become my next favorite.
5. I cringe when I hear people filing their nails.
6. I hate the word "erk". My dad used to say that and it always rubbed me the wrong way. (can a word "rub" you? hmmmm)
7. I enjoy surfing the web if I'm bored. I love having tons of answers to random questions at my fingertips, literally.
8. I didn't learn to type until my sophomore of high school. I never thought I'd catch on. Here I am, eight years later, having it be the most valuable job quality that I have.
9. I always wanted my first boyfriend to end up as my husband.
10. My little brother, Lyle, and I get along the best. As my friend Jenny says, "he's my little pookie!"
11. My new favorite pen is the Pilot Easy Touch.
12. I love chocolate!
13. I never used to sing out loud to the radio. Now, I almost always do, unless I'm with someone that I don't know very well. I figure, if my friends are gonna love me then they're gonna have to deal with my pitiful singing.
14. I've realized that it is not easy to live with other people. and Yes, that includes me.
15. I'd rather pop my own popcorn on the stovetop than eat microwaved popcorn.
16. I love puppies/dogs. I'm the person that grosses you out because I let them lick me and will hug them and let them climb all over me.
17. I often wonder that if I died in the near future who would show up at my funeral.
18. I always fantasize about my wedding. hey, I'm a girl!
19. Along the same lines, I love to plan things. I remember when I was younger trying to plan for my birthday parties six months in advance. My mom would always say that I had to wait! Every year I am always the first to ask what people want for Christmas gifts and what we're planning for the holidays. The usual reply is, "Dana, that's months away! I don't want to think about that right now."
20. I used to be incredibly shy. I try to force myself to be more outgoing.
21. A few useful things I learned in college: Euchre. nap-taking. Cramming. (example: preparing a 5 minute speach in the 10 minutes between Bible Lands and Public Speaking) School food is nasty. School rules were more strict than my parent's rules.
22. I was told that the newness and the enjoyment of driving would wear off. I still love it! There was an entire year that I was without a car, maybe that had an impact?!
23. I LOVE shopping, even for groceries.
24. I often don't listen to certain songs because I dislike the lyrics.
25. I am very understanding. Sometimes too understanding.

Within me

The sinking feeling of longing inside my heart grows deeper and deeper with each moment of silence. All I really want is to feel loved, to be loved. An "I miss you" or "I love that about you" will make it all disappear. Instead, heartbreak, sadness, and helplessness flood my being. It is too much to bear any longer. Why must I contine putting myself through this turmoil? To give up would be throwing away any chance of this deeper kind of love. Love is risky. I don't know how much longer I can hold out for the supposed reward.

Pantyhose onions, anyone?

I can't imagine a better "church" than what took place yesterday at the Gregory's place. Wow, I love those people. I'm realizing more and more that the relationships in my little world are indeed the best things.

I had an amazing weekend. Crazy at times, but most of it was really good.
Friday night was spent with Ayesha and Christina. Saturday morning was hectic and stressful as I tried to cram 4 hours worth of cleaning and preparing for a party into about 2 hours and then less than an hour because I still had to go pick up movies and then had a crazy fiasco trying to set up the DVD player. Lisa was the first to show up. I felt kinda bad for her since she waited nearly an hour in my cold kitchen while I ran around trying to get last minute things finished. But, she was patient and understanding and even offered to help. I had a blast watching the chick flicks with the girls!
*Two Weeks Notice
*Kate and Leopold
*Notting Hill
*Hope Floats (well, half of it before we left to go "out".)

I got about four hours of sleep (a whole other story that I won't go into detail about here on the web) before heading over to Ben's house for church. Like I said earlier, it was fantastic! We had great conversations about how we felt things were going and about being structured vs. organic, etc. It was good stuff. I'm enjoying where this is leading me in my life.

Then it was off to change clothes and meet Stephanie for dinner before heading to the comedy club. I now realize why it is adults only in comedy clubs. Most of the jokes can be very vulgar and crude and quite funny. Ahem, anywho.....

today will be spent doing all the household things I put off doing this weekend because I was having so much fun. Ya know, like laundry and cleaning and bills....blah, blah, blah.

oooey, gooey....awww

Happy Valentine's Day to all you wonderful people out there. I hope that your day is filled with love and kindness. With or without a sweetie to spend your day with, I hope you realize that you are worth loving and I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Now, I'm off to find Cupid....

grateful for quality friendship

A very close friend of mine is falling in love and will quite possibly be getting married sometime in the near future. I'm so very happy for her (and him). But, he lives so very far away and I'm terrified at the thought of not having her in my life. She has been there for me so many times. She has prayed with me and for me when I couldn't pray for myself. She has urged me to be more outgoing. She has spoken the truth in love to me, several times! She has been a shoulder to cry on and a source of comfort. She has seen me at my worst and best moments and loved me through it all. She knows when I'm telling the truth or holding something back. Simple words cannot express how much she means to me.

Christine, I love you. I am so thankful to have you in my life.

One of my favorite songs...

To Love You by Ken E. Read

To love You, Lord my God,
With all my heart,
With all my soul,
With all my mind,
With all my strenth,

This is my highest prayer.

This is my dream
My sacred passion
My highest goal
To love the One
For Whom I'm fashioned.

(ending)
To love You,
To love You,
To love You,
To love You,
This is my highest prayer.


Absolutely beautiful in a cappella. Makes me smile.

It's Wednesday!

Why does "hump day" always make my mind immediately think of sex?

Umm, anyways....
Dad went to court on Monday and apparently things are all worked out now. Big sigh of relief!

In other news, work is going well. I'm still in training which means I ask my co-workers a bajillion (yes that IS a word) questions a day. Today my supervisor gave me the self appraisal form that I have to fill out. Oh, how I dread those. That is almost as bad as updating and recreating my resume. The good side to it is I will soon get a raise! Yipee! That's very good considering I have mucho debt to pay off.

I'm trying to have a more positive attitude and be thankful for the things in my life. (I've been kinda cranky the last few days!) I hope all is well with you!
much love,
dana

Daunting.

Three people ask me about what I plan to do regarding my job and such. "So, are you just gonna move up there?" and "you're moving in June, aren't you?"

Lovely. I'm probably sounding quite upset and depressed about the whole breakup. It isn't my intention. Though, lately it is stressful and difficult to make wise choices when I'm not entirely sure what they are. Honestly, this (my blog) is just about the only place where I can actually be honest and say that this sucks and not have to deal with all the questions from people that don't really care about my life that much to begin with. (that does not mean you...if you're reading this then you are probably a genuine friend that does care and in the same manner I respect your feedback and/or questions)


Lord, I need you in my life. I don't know which way to turn. Please guide me through this indecision and uncertainty. I want to be captivated by your love and sheltered in your care. I want to be overflowing with joy and praise. I want more of you, Lord God. Make yourself evident in my life. Father, help me to be selfless and caring. I seek your will for my life, whatever that ends up being. Please give me strength enough to obey and humility to know the blessings of your love. Father, please give me compassion for those that need you and those that need love in their lives. Please make yourself real to my family and friends and the people in my life.