you push and pull
You act as though I don't notice the constant push and pull that you keep playing with my heart. I've been patient, so very patient. I've been forgiving, so very forgiving. For what, I'm not sure. I keep thinking that the way you're acting isn't really who you are and that you're simply confused and that you have so much going on in your life and whatnot. I don't know why I am even buying into these things. I've let myself believe them every time you pull me back closer. That is, until a few days later when you push me away. Then, I'm left with so much frustration, mostly directed at myself for letting you into my life once again. I say, "I'm done" and try to believe it.
This isn't the kind of relationship that I desire. This is not the kind of relationship I deserve. I don't understand this anymore. I don't understand why I'm so drawn to you. I don't understand why I keep letting myself get hurt by you.
Either you're in this or you're not. Make up your damn mind. And, if you're in this...then, really be in this. I know you're capable. Somehow, I know this to be true. That's what keeps me holding on by a thread. I think that I see the real you. The man that I know you are capable of being and that is incredibly appealing.
There's a decision to be made. If that decision happens to be you telling me you don't think this will work and that things need to end, then I won't be around to answer your texts or phone calls. I won't be around 4 days or 9 days or 12 days later. I will continue to wish the best for you. And, I will know that for some reason or another our paths crossed and for that I will be thankful. There will be no bitterness. There will be no heartache. There will be no regret.
"to pass hope back and forth among one another that Life can be better in this world: that it's worth our tears and sweat and failures...And to remind each other that being with another human with confidence and quiet gentleness is the most difficult and beautiful thing we could experience." ~tasha
This is what I've tried to convey with my actions. Love is messy, risky and incredible worthwhile; so, no, there will be no regret for I have given of myself in hopes of love.
This isn't the kind of relationship that I desire. This is not the kind of relationship I deserve. I don't understand this anymore. I don't understand why I'm so drawn to you. I don't understand why I keep letting myself get hurt by you.
Either you're in this or you're not. Make up your damn mind. And, if you're in this...then, really be in this. I know you're capable. Somehow, I know this to be true. That's what keeps me holding on by a thread. I think that I see the real you. The man that I know you are capable of being and that is incredibly appealing.
There's a decision to be made. If that decision happens to be you telling me you don't think this will work and that things need to end, then I won't be around to answer your texts or phone calls. I won't be around 4 days or 9 days or 12 days later. I will continue to wish the best for you. And, I will know that for some reason or another our paths crossed and for that I will be thankful. There will be no bitterness. There will be no heartache. There will be no regret.
"to pass hope back and forth among one another that Life can be better in this world: that it's worth our tears and sweat and failures...And to remind each other that being with another human with confidence and quiet gentleness is the most difficult and beautiful thing we could experience." ~tasha
This is what I've tried to convey with my actions. Love is messy, risky and incredible worthwhile; so, no, there will be no regret for I have given of myself in hopes of love.
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