Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I'm hooked...

So, last night I went to my second photography (darkroom) class (I missed last week's because of the funeral) and am now officially loving photography! I shot a roll of film on Sunday night and Monday afternoon and turned it in on Monday. It was an amazing adventure to take my prints from negatives to an actual print. :-) So.much.fun! We created contact sheets (kinda like an idex sheet but instead of pictures it is created from the actual negative...).

I'm so glad I did this and am doing this. :-)

Monday, June 20, 2005

book update!

so, to avoid posting about anything that causes me to cry i'm gonna update you on what i've been reading...

I've gotten through a total of five books for the year (at least three in the month of june!)

So far...

Blue Like Jazz
The Nanny Diaries
The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Haddon
Name Droppings

I'm enjoying the time I spend reading!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I made it!

After waiting for nearly an hour and a half to fly out of Winnipeg on Monday I missed my connecting flight and ended up having to stay in Chicago. Thankfully, somehow, I managed to have them pay for the hotel, transportation, and food for the night. (I didn't particularly mind. Except that it was too late to order pizza and IKEA was already closed...and within walking distance-such a tease) So, I was rebooked for a flight that left at 10:55 Tuesday morning. I was dropped off at the United terminal by 9 and once I got a little oriented to the airport, or so I thought, I looked on the departure screen only to find that I was headed in the wrong direction as my flight was leaving out of gate E7, and I was in B. I started walking in the logical direction from B7 to B8 to B9, etc. and finally decided to ask someone if I was going the right way. Nope. I had to turn around and go right and then follow that down to the other terminal. So, I finally found myself at E7 wishing that I could magically make my bag lighter. But, E7 was a Northwest gate and I was flying on United. There was one tiny sign that said United on it so I wasn't really assured that I was at the correct gate until a few other people showed up just as confused and asked around to make sure they were at the right gate. I managed to have a bit of time to rest and read until someone saw that our flight had been delayed. No more than five minutes later it was announced that we had changed gates and needed to get to F14. Yes, more walking with my carry-on gaining weight with every step. So, I walked all the way down E and then then to F and all the way down to the end was where we found F14. I had just gotten through the first page of the book I was reading to hear "Flight 5893 to Cincinnati has been cancelled, please approach the desk or Customer Service in F9 to be rebooked." I quickly get up and jump in line hoping to get on the next flight since by this point all I want to do is make it home as quick and as safe as possible. After waiting in line for 10 minutes I am re-directed to stand in another line at the Customer Service desk where my boarding pass is torn up and I am told to go to gate B21. Again, I start walking. Did I mention that Chicago is not a small airport? ;-) Anyhow, I make it to B21 and settle in and hope that with each loud speaker announcement that this flight isn't delayed, cancelled, or overbooked.

Flight 1114 landed in Cincy at 3:29pm.

I didn't actually get home until about 10pm last night since I had dinner with my dad and Vickie before my photography class (more on this later). I am T-I-R-E-D.

:-)

Saturday, June 11, 2005

book update...

I finished The Nanny Diaries about two weeks or so ago. It was a easy and entertaining read. I also started and finished The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks, thanks to spending time in the airport and flying (did I mention the hour that we sat on the runway...). I've been flipping through an ancient photography book that I'm not sure is very useful.

It's halfway through June and I've read three books and have started on a fourth. Making progress, I am. :-) I'm not sure if I want to devote to reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time (the one that I started 2-3 weeks ago and haven't picked back up yet).

so, I'm in Canada now

Doesn't really feel or look extremely different, sans Christine and Terry being here. I've missed her bunches and I've missed being able to share where I'm at with things and have her know exactly what that feels like since she's dealt with it before. Somehow, sometime soon this all (life) has to get better. I still feel like I'm in such a weird place with nearly everything: friends, God, family, life and what it means to live it, grief, relationships, etc.

Monday, June 06, 2005

I know it's a movie...

But, I wish I had “someone” to pick me up from the airport like in the movie Love Actually. Lately, with all the weddings and everything else, I have been acutely aware that I don’t actually have someone to completely share my life with.

I’m flying home next Monday night and at the moment I don’t have a ride home. (This isn’t a plea for someone to pick me up) My mom is working, my dad will probably be out of town, my flight gets in too late to expect any of my friends to pick me up and that pretty much leaves me with taking a cab home, by myself.

Honestly I don’t think I am ready to be in a committed relationship (it doesn’t stop me from wanting that kind of relationship). I say that I am not ready not because I don’t feel that I can actually share my life with someone else but because there are so many things that I believe I need to wade through in my own life before I indulge someone else into this. Things that, I hope, will make me a better person and able to handle all my relationships in a healthier way.

“I’d rather swim the ocean
I’d rather not pretend
I’d rather do some thinking now
Somehow it all depends”…

“If I could fly away from me
To ride this wind above the trees
Oh to fly away from me
Come and face the longing
On my knees”…

“I’d rather never question things
But that’s the story of my life”..

“I’d rather not be crying
I’d rather just be whole
I’d rather brave the cleansing fire
I’d rather feed my soul”…

“I’m open to suggestions
I’m crying out to you
I’m ready to be finished here
I’m ready for this season to be through”

DTP, I’d Rather

whew...

did I mention that I HATE to be hot? yeah.. I hate it. ;-)

Friday, June 03, 2005

stubborn, I am

After a few months of being sick on and off I drug myself into the doctor's office. This time around I thought that I was getting a sinus infection and would normally just wait it out and take some OTC stuff. But, I DO NOT want to be sick when I fly next week. It turns out I have an Upper Resipiratory Infection. So, I picked up some medicine and will hopefully recover before Wednesday.


And another thing...

I had lunch with a bunch of people at my work that I don't know and I hate, hate, hate feeling so awkward and uncomfortable and like I don't know what to say or how to get to know them.
bleh.

Dad's wedding is tomorrow. I hope it goes well.....and hope that there's no family drama.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

strenuous month

(sorry I was sick of the word difficult)

I don't even know where to begin. I continue to hear myself saying "just make it til the 5th and you'll be okay". It isn't even simply the weddings, it's everything. It is all the emotions that I've pushed to the side and even thinking about them now brings tears to my eyes. I feel so stagnant, but I don't know that I can handle much more at this point.

I saw my Grandpa last Sunday. He looked like a different person. So strange. I don't know how to handle life when people you love or people you've known all your life and feel like you should love die.

I'm done. I hope to write more when I'm capable of articulating my thoughts.