The trip to NC and back...

The trip was probably one of the most emotionally draining trips that I've ever experienced. I'm not sure how much of that was visible on the outside but it was consuming the thoughts within me. I had a surprisingly great conversation with Tim while there. It was what I needed: caring support from a friend while I tried to process through life as I know it.

Sunday was a beautiful day with temperatures near 80 degrees, it was a great break from the harsh weather back home. Monday I found myself being intimidated by a bunch of third graders. Seriously. How does this happen? I'm bigger than them. Tuesday was the trip home, we had beautiful driving weather and gorgeous scenery. It made me feel apart of something bigger than me, bigger than my issues, and something better. I've discovered, yet again, that I do believe in God and I keep pushing that belief away in hopes that there will be answers to why I feel the way that I feel. I finally finished Blue Like Jazz (after having put it on hold for quite a few months) on the drive home and I think that from where I picked things up and to the end it was especially great considering where I am in my life.

I think that some hard decisions need to be made and I don’t know if I am ready to follow through on those decisions. Some honest conversations need to happen with several people in order to get to a healthier place with life.