reason #239 that I should be in counseling...

I've gone and done it again. I promised myself that it wouldn't happen this time. 'No, I can't put myself through this again.' I said to myself. Yet, somehow I did. I let myself sleep in the comfort of familiarity instead of staring into the face of truth and reality. As a result I've spent the last hour letting the tears softly flow telling myself that I knew this wouldn't work out all along and now it must all come to a crashing halt. This isn't how I want to live, so weak and without a voice. How do I start all over again? I'm tired of living in pain and hiding from the past. I can't pretend anymore.