family twists and turns
Sometimes the people that we expect will love us the most will hurt us the most, or at least most often. It is kind of ridiculous how it all unfolds. I'm not writing about one specific event, though today makes this all much easier to realize. How many times must I learn this same lesson? I’m not sure whether to continue inviting them into my life only to be disappointed or to shut them out only to be saddened.
Today, I had intended on making dinner for my family to celebrate Mother's Day and to spend some time together. We have never had a family get together at my house before and I love to entertain so I was really looking forward to this. If you know me at all you know how I can be sometimes. I want things to be perfect, or as "perfect" as they can be. Lists were made, floors were swept, food was bought, prepared, and then I waited. And waited. Everyone was supposed to be at my house at 2pm. I had planned on them being about 15 minutes late because we are rarely on time.
At 2:45 I called my mom to ask what she was doing (getting dressed) and when she planned to be at my house (4pm) and when I said that everyone was supposed to be there at 2pm she said that I had told her 4pm, which then made me more upset. My brother decided to host a party yesterday so that everyone could see his new place that they moved into a week ago. His party was at 4pm. After having a short, somewhat tense conversation she said she would get ready and be at my house as soon as she could. Three phone calls later with no answer from either of my brothers I shed a few tears of frustration, turned off all the food that I was trying to keep warm and took a deep breath.
Last Sunday, on Mother's Day, I took some planted flowers, a card, and a HD gift card to my mom's house to surprise her since she had to work all day. She was really excited and I think it made her feel special and made her smile, which is exactly what I wanted. Today's get together (while I was footing the whole bill) was to be more about my brothers at least acknowledging my mom and spending some time together. She keeps giving and giving to them and it seems like they don't appreciate any of it.
My mom arrived around 3:30 by herself. I was really hoping that my niece and nephew would be in tow because I miss them. We warmed our food and headed outside to sit on the patio. The sun was warm and the conversation came easy. My mom was excited to tell me about a new interest in her life—a man from Ohio who is currently stationed in Afghanistan. Even though I am the daughter in this relationship I often want to protect my mom and make sure the people in her life are treating her the way that she deserves to be treated—with love and respect. I listened and I asked lots of questions, which she was eager to answer. With having never met him and only with the information that my mom has given me I am fairly optimistic of him being a person with many good qualities and with a good character; he is already miles ahead of the last two men in her life. I’m proud of her for voicing that she deserves to be a priority in the life of the person she is sharing her life with. Anyhow, this new guy, who for my blog’s sake and to keep his identity hidden, will be nicknamed Soldier. My mom told me about this blog that he writes (I was so tempted to tell her about mine, but decided against it for the time being). My mom loves to read, and she said that he writes very descriptive and she enjoys reading his posts. I think I’ll start keeping up with his blog as it’s nice to have an inside track into someone that my mom is interested in as well as the opportunity to gain a little insight into what our military is actually doing during this time of War. (I’ll share his blog address if you’re interested.)
Despite the timing fiasco and being disappointed by my brothers it was a wonderful evening. The weather was gorgeous, the food was yummy, and I felt connected to my mom in ways that I always hope for. The end of the evening was also wonderful. I enjoy being a part of other people’s lives and sometimes you get a glimpse of something really amazing and intimate and it solidifies your friendship even more than before. I appreciate the flowers and I appreciate your friendship more than I can even express.
Today, I had intended on making dinner for my family to celebrate Mother's Day and to spend some time together. We have never had a family get together at my house before and I love to entertain so I was really looking forward to this. If you know me at all you know how I can be sometimes. I want things to be perfect, or as "perfect" as they can be. Lists were made, floors were swept, food was bought, prepared, and then I waited. And waited. Everyone was supposed to be at my house at 2pm. I had planned on them being about 15 minutes late because we are rarely on time.
At 2:45 I called my mom to ask what she was doing (getting dressed) and when she planned to be at my house (4pm) and when I said that everyone was supposed to be there at 2pm she said that I had told her 4pm, which then made me more upset. My brother decided to host a party yesterday so that everyone could see his new place that they moved into a week ago. His party was at 4pm. After having a short, somewhat tense conversation she said she would get ready and be at my house as soon as she could. Three phone calls later with no answer from either of my brothers I shed a few tears of frustration, turned off all the food that I was trying to keep warm and took a deep breath.
Last Sunday, on Mother's Day, I took some planted flowers, a card, and a HD gift card to my mom's house to surprise her since she had to work all day. She was really excited and I think it made her feel special and made her smile, which is exactly what I wanted. Today's get together (while I was footing the whole bill) was to be more about my brothers at least acknowledging my mom and spending some time together. She keeps giving and giving to them and it seems like they don't appreciate any of it.
My mom arrived around 3:30 by herself. I was really hoping that my niece and nephew would be in tow because I miss them. We warmed our food and headed outside to sit on the patio. The sun was warm and the conversation came easy. My mom was excited to tell me about a new interest in her life—a man from Ohio who is currently stationed in Afghanistan. Even though I am the daughter in this relationship I often want to protect my mom and make sure the people in her life are treating her the way that she deserves to be treated—with love and respect. I listened and I asked lots of questions, which she was eager to answer. With having never met him and only with the information that my mom has given me I am fairly optimistic of him being a person with many good qualities and with a good character; he is already miles ahead of the last two men in her life. I’m proud of her for voicing that she deserves to be a priority in the life of the person she is sharing her life with. Anyhow, this new guy, who for my blog’s sake and to keep his identity hidden, will be nicknamed Soldier. My mom told me about this blog that he writes (I was so tempted to tell her about mine, but decided against it for the time being). My mom loves to read, and she said that he writes very descriptive and she enjoys reading his posts. I think I’ll start keeping up with his blog as it’s nice to have an inside track into someone that my mom is interested in as well as the opportunity to gain a little insight into what our military is actually doing during this time of War. (I’ll share his blog address if you’re interested.)
Despite the timing fiasco and being disappointed by my brothers it was a wonderful evening. The weather was gorgeous, the food was yummy, and I felt connected to my mom in ways that I always hope for. The end of the evening was also wonderful. I enjoy being a part of other people’s lives and sometimes you get a glimpse of something really amazing and intimate and it solidifies your friendship even more than before. I appreciate the flowers and I appreciate your friendship more than I can even express.
1 Comments:
i can't tell you how thankful i am for everything you were a part of this weekend...and the weeks preceding. you never stop being the dana way of wonderful. i love you, lady.
Post a Comment
<< Home