Monday, September 29, 2003

God and baseball.

I spent the day with my dad yesterday. It felt like one of those times that I felt like I didn't have to worry because I wasn't in control. I know that may sound silly. We went to Clovernook for "church". While we were singing I just got this tremendous feeling that God really knew that I cared and that whatever happens it won't be because of me trying or not trying to save my dad or my family.

A little background: I was not brought up in the church. My family rarely talked about God. We possibly did the traditional Thanksgiving prayer and yearly Easter services and Daniel, Lyle, and myself went to a few VBS's. That was basically the extent of church and therefore in my mind, God. I had some relatives that were Christians, whatever that term really means.

What I was getting at was this: I felt like my dad was in charge of his relationship with God and that I shouldn't worry myself over it. That doesn't mean I should stop praying and caring...just that I shouldn't make it my responsibility. I know that may seem foolish of me to think that my dad's relationship with Jesus falls on me. Part of it has to do with me being the only active believer in our family. (I hope that makes sense) Anywho, it was good and encouraging.

After lunch we headed down to the baseball game. I seem to forget that my dad can be a lot of fun and I seem to forget some of the reasons that make him who he is and how much I love those things about him. I'm his only daughter and lately I am beginning to see that there's a different bond and/or type of relationship between a Father and his daughter than between a Father and his son(s). My dad got a tattoo a few days ago as a type of bonding experience between him and Daniel. They've had many rocky roads and maybe they're both beginning to respect each other. My dad talks to me about how money really isn't important and things like freedom really matters and how he feels that people can't really experience freedom without Christ. He talks to me about how he feels lonely and how different things are now than they were 3 years ago before he went into jail. He tells me about how proud he is of his kids and how well they turned out despite it all. He makes me laugh just with his silly little comments. After yesterday I realize more and more that I love him and am glad to have him in my life. It hasn't been easy, but it is worth it.

btw, my dad wants everyone to know that he called the homerun by Stenson yesterday. "I got a feeling about him. I think he's gonna go deep." he said. "Yeah right." I replied knowing that we hadn't scored the whole game and I was losing hope. And then the click of the bat and the ball soars through the air. "Oh my gosh, it might be a homer!" I think to myself. The crowd is on it's feet as they watch the first (and last) homerun of the game. "Look at that. I told you I had a feeling about him!" dad said excitedly.

It won't be easy. But, it is worth it.

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