Seasons of Love

The previous 365 days have been amazing and difficult all at the same. A lot of life has happened in that time and I am grateful for it all.

• Tuesday evenings
• silent conversations
• honest answers followed by holding hands and lots of tears
• hope of something more than friendship
• watching new parents
• the feeling of overwhelming love for my niece and “wuv yous”
• blowing kisses and having them returned from my nephew
• intense and honest conversations with my mom
• old hymns sung together while he lay on his death bed
• watching planes land while eating McDonald’s
• unanswered e-mails, unreturned voicemails, and no phone calls
• buying my first painting
• living in an apartment with just me
• adding a cat to my apartment
• Sunday mornings
• making meals together and then enjoying our efforts
• deciding to make an effort to face really painful parts of my past
• feeling "unstuck" after so long
• admitting that I feel ignored and unwanted
• visiting the Newport Aquarium with most of my family and enjoying it
• being valued enough to not settle for a surface-level relationship
• learning more about photography
• builing new friendships
• being a part of several weddings
• continuing a friendship even in different countries
• flying by myself, missing my flight home due to a delay and staying in Chicago by myself
• my Sangha
• following through on the hard stuff, even when I don't want to
• realizing some conversations that I thought were necessary, really are not
• forcing myself to follow through on the essential conversations to continue a friendship
• being surrounded by loving people in marriages that love their spouses immensely
• laughing more than crying
• loving more than hurting
• living more
• feeling more free than I ever thought I could feel

I watched Rent (the movie) with Holly, Trav and the Penwells a week ago today. It affected me quite a bit, surprisingly, and inspired the post above as well as a hopeful feeling for what 2006 will hold.

Here are the lyrics to Seasons of Love:

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred
moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
six hundred minutes

How do you measure- measure a year?
In Daylights-In sunsets
In midnights-In cups of coffee
In inches-in miles
In laughter-in strife

In-Five hundred twenty-five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the Life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love?

Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.

Soloist:
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan

five hundred twenty-five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure the Life
of a woman or a man?

soloist 2:
In truths that she learned
or in times that he cried
in bridges he burned
or the way that she died

all:
It’s time now-to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let’s Celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Measure in Love

Measure, Measure your Life in Love